Sharswood lunch Discrase

Sharswood lunches are so nasty some people be pukein. Some people be talking about school lunch. Some time the school lunch be trucky niggets. The trucky niggets be the worst. And the pizza be half done. The cheese buger be the best. When we was taking the pssa they had rice and chickhen for lunch. That be the nastyes lunch in the world. The corn be with the trucky niggets.

Original source at You, Sir, Are Going to Summer School garnered hundreds of lovely comments. All I can say is that I wish it weren’t plausible for an eleven or twelve year old American educated child to write something this bad.

Having sold over 150 million books intentionally, he is best known for sci-fi action novels The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, Rising Sun: A Novel, Timeline, State of Fear, Prey, and Next. Crichton also dabbled in television and movies, creating TV show ER, and the movies Jurassic Park, its sequel The Lost World, Twiser, and others.

Criticisms of Crichton’s work revolve around two themes: scientific inaccuracies around his portrayal of climate change, and his general hostility towards technology and industrial systems. On the issue of global warming, Al Gore said on March 21, 2007 before a US House committee: “The planet has a fever. If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor [...] if your doctor tells you you need to intervene here, you don’t say ‘Well, I read a science fiction novel that tells me it’s not a problem’.” This was an obvious reference to State of Fear.

The other problem with his work is hatred for technology–all kinds of technology, from standard aircraft construction, to genetic engineering, to computer systems, and even nanotechnology. In a Crichton story, anything that can go wrong in his mind will go wrong, even if the scenarios are ludicrous in actuality. Some would go so far to classify Crichton–although he denies the charge–as a luddite.

What are you reading right now to help you…

I don’t read a damn thing. That’s why I don’t write music. I’m too cool to be reading and writing…I’m a very intelligent nigga. I can read like a motherfucka. I don’t want motherfuckas to think I’m illiterate.

You’re in college so…

I don’t read, other than that shit.

But we talking about books for leisure.

Nah, I’ve done that like once or twice. It’s just not my thing. I’m not into made-up stories.

You know how people get together and they like, “Yo, you read… ?”

I’m not even in that conversation circle. That would be crazy, I can’t answer nothing so why would I sit there and talk? I ain’t read no books. I sit and watch ESPN all day. I can tell you what happened in sports. I do what floats my boat. If you trying to figure out where I get this talk, that’s me. I’m born with that. I don’t have no brothers, no sisters. My brother is 6-years-old. My dad ain’t never had one of those. And the one I called pops, he passed. My momma, she do her cooking thing. I’m an intelligent nigga,. I just refuse to be dumb.

It looks like Little Wayne has about as much social responsibility as brains. Unlike the other celebrity heroes who promote positive, intellectual lifestyles, the only thing Lil’ Wayne is good for is convincing America’s children a life of drugs, violence, misogyny, and illiteracy is the best way to live.

Harrison Ford for America’s Libraries

I wish more celebrities these days were putting out this kind of positive message.

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

Other beauties include Shannon Wedge of New Hampshire who won in the Adventure category:

Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay — the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make.

As well as Graham Thomas of St Albans, Hertfordshire, U.K. who ran up the Purple Prose:

The complementary crepuscularities of earth and sky shrank away from one another as the roseate effulgence of a new dawn burst forth, not unlike a reclining pneumatic beauty’s black silk stocking splitting apart at the seam to reveal the glowing radiance of an angrily sun-burned leg.

ANGLERS

ANGLERS, alias HOOKERS; petty Thieves, who have a Stick with a Hook at the End, wherewith they pluck Things out of Windows, Grates, &c. Make ready your Angling Stick; a Word of Command used by these petty Villains, to get ready the Stick with which they perform their Pranks, and as a Signal of a Prey in Sight. In the Day-time they beg from House to House, to spy best where to plant their Designs, which at Night they put in Execution.

It’s a classic.

The BBC article has some commentary:

He died in his home in the Moscow area, where he had lived with his wife Natalya, at 2345 local time (1945 GMT), Stepan told Itar-Tass. Russian President Dmitry Medvedev sent his condolences to the writer’s family, a Kremlin spokesperson said. French President Nicolas Sarkozy described him as “one of the greatest consciences of 20th Century Russia”. “His intransigence, his ideals and his long, eventful life make of Solzhenitsyn a storybook figure, heir to Dostoyevsky,” he said in a statement.

Solzhenitsyn served as a Soviet artillery officer in World War II and was decorated for his courage but in 1945 was denounced for criticising Stalin in a letter. He spent the next eight years in the Soviet prison system, or Gulag, before being internally exiled to Kazakhstan, where he was successfully treated for stomach cancer.

Urban Dictionary has a definition of its own:

1. Stomache

An idiot who can’t spell “stomach”.
Guy1: Man, my stomache is killing me.
Guy2: It’s stomach, dumbass.

2. stomache

Upset stomach, contracted form of “stomach ache”
You can’t sit on my lap, pet, I have a stomache.

The rest of the Google references will take you to pages about gastroenterology, under the assumption that stomache is really just a common mispelling of stomach. Unfortunately, I’m writing this to tell you that it’s not. It’s its own new portmanteau word, replacing “stomach ache.”

Name: Selekta
Posts: 913

Was just thinking. My sister does a lot of reading, and spends like $1000 a year just on books alone. Most of them she reads once then never looks at again. Is there any kind of like video rental store … but for books? Would make things a lot cheap, plus once one person has read one the next person can get enjoyment from it etc.

We do have such a thing; it’s called a Library!!

We came across this in the grand canyon Hualapai area, a lovely example of an English sentence completely lacking a verb, but still understandable by native speakers. Or, it might be an imperative to service the other door… we’ll leave it up to you to decide.